Stubborn is as Stubborn Does

*Warning – this is a bit of a rant post*

It’s been made very clear to me over the last couple weeks that I’m one stubborn pain in the arse. At least, that’s the not-so-subtle vibes that I’ve gotten from a few folks trying to help me out as I learn to navigate life with crutches and a bum knee. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m overwhelming grateful that there are folks around me who are kind enough to offer help and I’m truly not trying to snub them. However,

1) I value independence. Yes, it may be a bit vain that I want to do everything for myself, by myself. But, folks aren’t always there when you need them. Better to learn how to do things yourself and not count on/rely on/overburden others who have their own issues to deal with. Even worse, I’m gun-shy of asking for help in situations where said help could refuse. That happened recently…and it stung a bit.

2) If I can take care of myself, I can still take care of others. That’s very important to me. 

3) Being able to come up with creative solutions to problems intrigues me. If you see me trying to balance a book on my head, carry a glass of water in my teeth, and use my hips alone to re-position my crutches, I’m probably having fun. The inherent danger of such activities also correlates with a sense of accomplishment. Seriously, how else am I going to entertain myself? 

4) I love challenges, especially physical challenges. 

5) I want to still be viewed as normal. Let me join the social groups, go to events, play games, without feeling the need to treat me special. I’m not dead. I’m not dying. I want to be included and loved, not accommodated. 

Should I learn to accept help from others more readily? Yes.

Do I feel as if I’m snubbing people when they do offer to help and I refuse. Yes. 

Will I continue to offer help to others who I think could also use a hand? Yes!

Am I young and stubborn – and will probably reconsider all of this as I get older? Yeah…

Should you continue to offer me a helping hand? Yes!

But, please don’t be offended if I don’t let you do everything for me, ok?

One thought on “Stubborn is as Stubborn Does”

  1. Being stubborn sounds like a positive quality with an injury, and I find it helpful that you remind me of that. Stubbornness (and creative ingenuity) is definitely going to be needed in these next months!
    At the same time, it’d still be nice if you let us help you when we can. Most of us (you included!) like helping others, even though we don’t always now how, and it’s nice to have an obvious target like you who can’t do everything she used to do. Unfortunately, even if I know you’re different than me, I still impose my own idea of the help you need on the basis of what I think I would need in the same situation. Having been both the helped and helpee, I know how frustrating that can be! I think it helps if you can pinpoint a couple of places where help would be nice (like meals, vaccuuming, movie watching, etc) so that you have time to take care of and have extra energy for the things you can take care of yourself (with or without stubbornness).

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